Just Breathe ...

Sorry the updates have dwindled a bit here over the past few days - we promise to be better and appreciate all of your concern, it really means the world to us.  Dad's hanging in there, but we'd be lying if we said everything was fine.  He's in the thick of it right now as far as his recovery goes.  He's had some issues with his heart and blood pressure, as well as trouble trying to regulate and slow his breathing.  He still has one of his chest tubes in to drain fluid but he did have the epidural and catheter removed over the weekend which was great.  Last night he was able to walk to for a bit, but it totally wears him out.  He's also extremely nautious from some of the anti-rejection medications but he desparately needs to eat high protein/fat foods to try to build up some of the muscle that he's lost over the past 10 days (and he didn't have a lot to begin with.) 

I had told my Dad that my friend Doug Akagi, who had a double lung transplant at the U a few months ago, wrote in his blog that if you had asked him while he was recovering in the hospital if he would do it all over again, he would say no.  He was that miserable and the recovery was that difficult.  Yesterday, between short, labored breaths, he said "remember when your friend wrote that?  I'm there."  Just breaks my heart, because I know how incredibly grateful he is for this gift of life and how overwhelmed he's been with gratitude, so for him to even hint at the fact that this is that difficult for him is so hard to hear.

A few of us commented last week on how we noticed how nurturing he has been with this new lung - a lot like a new mother is with her newborn, aware of every breath they're taking or not taking at all hours of the day .  You'll be sitting there talking to him and out of the blue he'll ask "what's ... my ... oxygen ... at?" and then he'll close his eyes and try to take a deep breath and slow down.  Can you imagine how odd that would feel, to be able to actually have control over the organ that was just transplanted into your body?  No wonder he's probably been a little anxious and breathing to fast. It's important for him to rest and relax, but we also know that your visits are important to him as well.  We've found that it's great for him to just have one or two people in his room, sitting out of his line of vision most of the time and not trying to talk a whole lot to him but just reading or watching tv with him and helping to get him anything he needs.   We love you all so much and appreciate your continued prayers.


p.s.  Last report on Diane was that she was recovering well from her surgery a few days ago, had her breathing tube taken out and was up walking around on the 5th floor as well.  Dad told me yesterday that he's looking forward to meeting her - hopefully in the hall one of these days :)

Entering Gad Valley

Dad was cleared to be moved up to the 5th floor transplant unit this afternoon - totally bypassed the intermediate ICU which is GREAT news! He's doing his best to try to swallow solid food but his throat has quite a scar from removing the large vent tube. As he was forcing himself to eat another bite of mashed potatoes, I said "just think of this as the biggest marathon of your life, Dad. Pick a spot up ahead, set a goal, and don't focus on anything else 'til you get there." He laughed and said "then right now I must be in the St. George Marathon entering Gad Valley. Definitely looking forward to getting to Diamond Valley." He's my hero :)

Not quite there yet

From Bryan: Just spoke to Dr. Cahill, he wasn't ready to come off the vent very well. They are putting him back on and will try again tomorrow. He can write very well and communicate fine. He is finally asleep so I think it will be best if we let him get some rest for awhile.

Trying to pull the tube

From Bryan: Dad looks good, was not able to sleep much last night. He is off all blood pressure meds for the most part and pain meds are minimal. His vent is off right now and he is somewhat struggling but if he calms down they may pull tube in 20 min. They asked me to leave for 30 min so he can relax. Say your prayers, crucial 30 minutes coming up.

.... If Only In My Dreams

I just got home from the hospital around 10:45 tonight and Dads still improving. The nurses have asked that only immediate family and his siblings and mother be allowed to visit him in the ICU. There will be plenty of time for visits once hes moved back up to the transplant floor and more stable. We're hoping that they'll be able to remove the ventilator tomorrow, but at least he's awake now and wanting to try to type things to say, which is still difficult for him. I know everyone's prayers have been heard and have helped contribute to his amazing recovery from such a traumatic surgery. Our family is so humbled and grateful to all of you and we're continuing to pray for the Atwood family and the donor family as well.

We just realized this evening, as our family gathered at Carter's house to have a little Christmas get together, that Dad wasn't aware until this afternoon that Christmas had come and gone while he was still coming out of the haze of sedation he'd been in for over 24 hours. He was expecting the surgery to be over by 2-3pm and that the rest of us would have time to still get home for Christmas Eve dinner with our kids. Thats why he was trying to type "go home for Christmas" yesterday to all of us.

It reminded me of the song "I'll Be Home For Christmas" which ironically, was being sung by Frank Sinatra on the radio on Christmas Eve morning as I was racing through the dark and empty streets of Sugarhouse back toward the hospital. I knew he was looking forward to having Christmas Eve dinner at my house with my girls, my Mom and his Uncle Ernie. We had joked the night before that if worse came to worse and he wasn't a match for the lung, that at least he'd get to be home for Christmas and enjoy the meal I was going to prepare for them. He definitely wasn't home for Christmas, but I know he was there in his dreams.

On Friday night, around 8pm, my girls and I had just finished setting the table for our Christmas Eve feast and were pulling some Christmas muffins out of the oven when I got the text that they had a lung and were on their way to the hospital. The last three days have been such a whirlwind that I haven't had the time or energy to put all the place settings away. Its all just sitting there, like its frozen in time. Sure it would have been nice to have had a "normal" Christmas, but it would have included watching Dad haul his oxygen tank around, with his grey skin and all of us wincing in empathy every time a coughing attack would strike, or he would get winded from just standing up to walk to the next room. It would have been another reminder that he most likely wouldn't be around next Christmas if he didn't get a new lung soon.

I think I just may leave the table like this for awhile, at least until Dad is taken off the ventilator and gets a chance to catch that second wind :)

Progress

Dads been able to use a little keyboard communicator this afternoon and has slowly been able to say things like "everything's fine" and "go home for Christmas." He has tears in his eyes every time we talk to him - not because he's in pain, but because I know he's so full of love and gratitude and concern for his family right now. Thats my dad - always full of love and optimism.

Diana, the recipient of the left lung is actually in the room right next to Dad, literally on the other side of the wall. How cool is that? When I had my twins, I remember the nurses would always put them in the same little hospital crib to sleep because they just did better that way. I think the same theory applies here with these two miraculous lungs. I truly believe that the donor is watching over both of them - their own guardian angel.

Still improving

Bryan just spoke with the nurses and they said he's still improving, they turned down his pain meds quite a bit so he is fairly coherent. We'll post more info later today.

Its A Wonderful Life

Dad's doing much better today. Although it's hard for him to open his eyes and the breathing tube is still in, he responds to questions by nodding, wiggling his toes or squeezing your hand. He'll most likely have the tube in for a couple more days, which is really making him miserable, but until they can wean him off it it's better to keep it in longer than to have to re-intabate him later. Our worries about possible neuro damage from his heart being accidentally cut by a clamp during surgery and the subsequent blood loss that occurred were lessened today by his responses and the doctors evaluations. His urine output is good, which is a great sign as well. He was very swollen and pale when we saw him last night (who wouldn't be after an 11 hour surgery?) but he now looks much better. Carter and I were noticing that his color is even better now than it was before the surgery. Bryan and Janalyn are here now for a few days which makes all of us happy. I'm so grateful for my family and their wives - they are truly my best friends.

We're all exhausted at this point and yet so grateful for all of the wonderful friends and family who are calling us and the hospital for updates. We'll try to keep the blog updated on a more regular basis for sure. The nurses asked that only immediate family call their station - they can only provide updates to family anyway. My mom has struggled today and hopefully will be doing better tomorrow. Please keep her in your prayers as well.

And although my Dad facing his most difficult trial right now, I know that if he could talk right now, he'd tell you that It's (STILL) a Wonderful Life :)

Merry Christmas everyone - life is good!

Made it through the night

It's 7:55am Christmas morning and Dad made it through the night. The nurses said they'd call if there was a serious problem, and no phone call. We're not allowed to visit or call the SICU between 7-8:30am or pm so I'm laying here, waiting to call at exactly 8:30am - oh yes, and waiting for my kids to wake up to see what Santa gave them.

Grandma Osborn (Dads mom) is on her way up to see him right now. My heart goes out to her and wish I could be there with her when she sees him for the first time. Bryan and his family will be driving up from St. George again this morning and we'll have time to talk more with the doctors and see where we are. Thanks for all of the prayers - please keep them coming. Love you all.

2 families receive 'Christmas miracle' with new chance at life | ksl.com

We were able to see Dad for a minute around 9:45 in the ICU before heading home to try to get some sleep. He was still sedated then, but I just spoke with his nurse and she said that he had responded to questions by wiggling his toes and squeezing hands just now, which is great. He's still on the respirator and will be throughout the night and sedated as well. His blood pressure is still pretty low so they're watching that closely. This is all related to a complication that went wrong during the surgery that had nothing to do with the transplant. The doctors told us that the transplant recovery is secondary to him recovering from what went wrong with his heart during surgery.

Here's the story that ran on KSL TV tonight about the transplant:

2 families receive 'Christmas miracle' with new chance at life | ksl.com

KSL News Story

Watch or record the 10pm KSL News tonight - they're doing a story on the transplant

Going on 8 1/2 hours in surgery

Still waiting for word that the surgery's over. He had to be put in a bypass machine earlier and is now off. They're just waiting for the lung to work on its own before they can begin to close him up. Hang in there Dad.

Still waiting ...

The nurses just called and said things are going well, they're still sewing the lung in and that they'll give us another update in an hour and a half.